Dumbfounded
by No.More.Wire.Hangers
Summary: Life's so funny. Shoujoai ReixMinako...as it should be.
1. Math Class

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon…and I especially don't own Chibi Moon. She's the result of what I believe to be Dracula's DNA spliced into a bag of cotton candy. I'm also 85 percent sure she cannibalizes unattended children.**

Chapter 1- Math Class

I am really starting to appreciate my math class...it gives me an hour to contemplate what the hell I did to deserve it in the first place. My teacher, Mrs. Pei, is an older woman in her fifties with thick glasses and no taste. Her short black hair is practically yanked back into a tight bun. Her beady black eyes stay firmly planted on the board as she rattles off the communicative property of addition and subtraction. Yeah, I feel so engaged in this class.

Today I received my homework back...and I received a 4/10 because I didn't circle my answers. Watch sign errors. I have a better idea Mrs. Pei, how about we watch my fist hit your face. She says today we get to solve word problems...I just adore how she says it like an exclamatory sentence...like it's some celebratory event. We're learning about inequalities today?!?! Oh, God, it's just like Christmas...I could just start caroling.

And I swear, if I have to solve one more word problem I might just spontaneously combust. Mrs. Smith has a garden...she wants the length to be five times the width and the total area to be 25 sq. feet, what's the perimeter? Okay, I tell you what I'm gonna do Mrs. Smith...I'm gonna grab a gas can and burn the damn garden. Problem solved. What's the perimeter? Where the edges of the ash pile end. That's where.

Okay, Sensei, here's an equation for you: I come to this class five days a week, the duration being one hour. This class lasts exactly 102 days. How many seconds of my life have I blown attempting to learn this bullshit? Solve for "I."

No matter how hard I attempt to concentrate I feel my attention slipping. I can feel myself slowly drift away, Mrs. Pei's voice becoming a faint echo. My eyes are open but my mind is on holiday. And I'm not vacationing alone. Whenever I let my mind wander it always seems to find some place she's occupying. With her raven hair spilling around her face like a waterfall and amethyst eyes that seem to pin you in place, she dominates whatever landscape I can dream up. My thoughts are the only haven I can talk candidly to her, where my eyes can meet hers for a prolonged period of time.

She walks over to me, more gliding gracefully than walking. She gazes me, eyes tumultuous with emotion. She grasps my hands, leaning closely to my face, her lips pressed gently to my ear. She whispers something…"Mina, I-I love…"

"Ms. Aino!"

Back to merciless reality.

Mrs. Pei is staring at me, arms crossed.

"Ms. Aino, since you seem to be so keenly focused perhaps you'd like to provide us with an answer to the second equation on the board."

Not really.

I eye the board. The problem reads: Mr. Kano is driving to Tokyo. He leaves at 13:20 and from his home he needs to travel 360 miles. He arrives at 18:30. What was his average speed?

I quickly try to dig up the formula necessary to solve the problem…although it's difficult because I keep having this passing fantasy where I hijack Mr. Kano's car and run my soulless math teacher over, and then back up over her for good measure. Let's see…DRT. Distance equals rate multiplied by time that has passed.

Might as well take a shot. "Umm his average speed would have been…70 mph?"

"Incorrect. With your grade in this class you think you'd be a little more focused." She remarked a faint smirk inching it's way across her face…don't want to smile to widely, dentures might slip out.

Drive over her, back up, drive over her, back up. Take that, Mrs. Pythagoras.

I nodded. "Right, sorry Mrs. Pei."

Sorry that I didn't have Mr. Kano's car.

I need to get out of here. I subtly try to catch a glimpse at the clock. Only twelve more minutes until class is over and I can meet Ami, Usagi, and Makoto at the Crown.

Only twelve more minutes till I can see the eighth wonder of the world, Rei Hino.

**Author's Notes: Yes, I realize it's short. I will elaborate the story soon. Thank you, one reviewer. : ) **


	2. Mars Landing

Author's Notes: A special thanks to those who reviewed. If I could I would send you each a cookie baked with love. Aww. This chapter was rushed so don't expect miracles. Also, I still do not own Sailor Moon. 

After Mrs. Pei's math class approaching the Crown was like approaching the pearly white gates of heaven. After walking through the glass doors, I did what I always do, try find a table that is somewhat secluded and plop my books down. The Crown is usually bustling with people after school and is a pretty popular hangout spot for teenagers who had a few yen to burn, those who had a craving for the best fruit smoothie in town or those who would rather go anywhere but home.

The air is filled with the scent of strawberries and kiwi; it infiltrates my nostrils and assaults my empty stomach. It lets loose an angry gargle. See, I would feed myself if my mom actually gave me lunch money consistently. But that's okay…who the hell needs food? Maybe I can just pretend I'm a goat and eat paper. That way when Mrs. Pei asks for my assignment and I reply I don't have it, I can correct her for a change.

"So you don't have your homework again, Ms. Aino? What excuse do you have for us this time? Dog ate it?"

"Actually, no, Wrinkles, I ate it…and it was delicious."

Apparently trying to distract myself isn't working. My growling stomach is beginning to sound like a feral animal. Maybe I could borrow some change off of Ami again or Lita. Usagi is probably going to donate to the Temple of Sailor V, our beloved arcade machine. There was always the possibility I could ask Rei…but I don't want her to think of me as some sort of pauper. That and I don't think I could manage to mumble it audibly.

I'm the Goddess of Love, I am Venus, I am Aphrodite. Men used to throw themselves at my feet; they used to pray for hours for my blessing, they used to kill in the name of me. That was men. Suddenly one girl, one embodiment of all things desirable to me, decided to prance on into my life and turn the master of love into a bumbling slave.

I used to consider myself invulnerable…then suddenly, one day without warning, along came Rei. She glanced from underneath thick lashes and spearheaded me with those amethyst eyes. Combine that with a playful toss of that silken black hair and that lithe, untouched body … my reign as unapproachable goddess collapsed like a pile of bricks. Jenga!

I became mortal…and with that mortality comes great vulnerability. That is really the quiddity of mortality isn't it?

Navigating developmental processes all while jumping through academic hurdles, and somewhere along the line, becoming a young adult. By this time you are developing self- awareness and are painfully conscious that you're breakable, you're imperfect… but despite that fact you must find a way to muster the courage to reveal your heart in a world that can and probably will treat it like a clay pigeon.

This is where I step in. I'm lucky enough to be occupying this period in my life. At the juncture where I'm secretly lusting after my best friend, all while marinating like some pheromone- soaked rump roast that miraculously has the ability to feel terrified of rejection.

So, essentially I've gone from anthropomorphic personification of eroticism to shivering butt meat.

What can I say? Fortune favors me.

It's almost 4:30, where the hell is everyone…where the hell is Rei? I wonder if the penguin sisters are detaining her somehow. Rei attends the TA Catholic School for Girls. No guess here what the TA stands for. I just find it funny that it's a religious establishment and it's sounds like a lesbian bar.

TA School for Girls: We lick girls into shape.

I couldn't help but smirk, when outside the window I catch a glimpse of raven hair and a skirt only **she** could work. I can feel my pulse beginning to race. I can feel my lips instinctively begin to form an idiotic smile. Mars has landed.


End file.
